42/52

Cohen: My super hero.

Emerson: Blue eyed, blonde haired, cheekiness.

Oscar: He still has that baby scent, the softest head and the smoothest skin.

I'm quite late to the party with this post, and with this link up. It's been awhile since I joined in. It's hard to juggle being a good parent and being a good jeweller and having time to read, blog, garden, knit, write, and do all the things I'd like to do. So I do what I can, when I can, and just enjoy everything as much as I can. One day these little people won't need me so much and I will have more time, and that day will be bittersweet indeed.

Joining in with Jodi.

-

42/52 last year. What a difference a year makes.

47/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: I put down the dishes and picked up the camera when I glimpsed this beautiful, quiet moment between Cohen and our dear old cat.

Emerson: When things are difficult, this little one reminds me of the joys of parenting. Her laughter is infectious, her curiosity is fascinating and her antics are oh so amusing.

This past week Cohen has mastered nursery rhymes, after never being particularly interested before, and Emerson has mastered standing on her tippy toes, which causes her great delight. Both my little darlings are so full of energy and life, while I feel quite exhausted. Poor wee dears, stuck with a Mama who has to rest. Though they seem to be coping with it quite well.

The most appealing time of the day lately has been that window of time just before they go to bed. Rituals we all look forward to. The choosing of the books, the way they gather beside me, the cuddles, laughter and questions as I read. The tucking in and nightlight for Cohen. The cuddles and rocking for Emerson. That one last glass of water for Cohen. It's such a lovely way to end our day. Just as both of them crawling in to bed with us in the morning is the very best way to start the day.

45/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen and Emerson: When play turns into cuddles

Despite being pregnant with our third child and looking forward to our family growing in number, lately I'd quite happily auction off both my darling children! The duality of Motherhood! You know I love them madly. And I have tried to remain patient. I have gotten down on their level. I have arbitrated their arguments  I have repeated myself two hundred times. I have bribed. I have rewarded. I have tactically ignored. But the list of misdeeds has been steadily growing. From Cohen wrapping an iron cord around his neck at my parents house and giving himself rope burn, to Emerson continually emptying the contents of any available drawer on to the floor - bathroom, bedroom, cutlery, pantry, fridge. From Cohen intentionally getting his face to within one centimeter of a hot electric frypan and almost giving himself a permanent burn mustache  to Cohen punching Emerson in the leg for not sharing. Not to mention finding the potty intended for Emerson full of an almost five year old's wee... 

Then there are the usual dinner frustrations, selective hearing, fake crying, whinging and tantrums. Sound familiar? And when it all got too much, I popped Emerson in the sling, handed Cohen his scooter and went for a walk. 

Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I want to have a tantrum too. Sometimes I want to go for a walk by myself, but there is no one else to care for them, so I have to work through it. Sometimes I want to sleep in, shower alone, talk uninterrupted on the phone.

And then they cuddle and kiss and I melt. 

And despite the frustrations, there is just love.

And I can't wait to add another little mischief maker to our family.

44/52

(The last two photos were taken by Cohen.)

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: "Say cheese!" A camera stamp becomes a mini camera and Cohen the photographer. It wasn't long before he asked to swap my camera for his. I love the images he captured of Emerson and I.

Emerson: Momentarily mimicking her brother, Emerson was more amused with putting the camera stamp in her mouth.

Last week my camera sat lonely and confused on the shelf. Thus the absence of a 43/52 portrait. Some weeks are like that. After five years* of documenting my days, memorising my children and looking for everyday beauty, I suddenly forgot how. Like writers block, mild panic sets in, then acceptance, then eventually inspiration strikes. 

Funny what can provide that inspiration. 
This week it was a camera stamp.  


(*I missed my anniversary! It was the 20th of October. Five years blogging. Oh my.)

42/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: Behind the fairy floss, beneath Dada's sunglasses and hat, my darling boy  

Emerson: Exploring at every opportunity, with that serious little face of hers

What a jolt those numbers give me. 42/52. My goodness. How true that old saying, 'the days are long but the years are short.' And so it has felt lately. 

Yesterday, we had Cohen's first school interview, for Prep. Cohen explored the classroom, while Dave and I answered the teachers questions. She was quite surprised when we explained that Cohen has never been in child care and hadn't gone to Pre-Prep, having been at home with me until this point. It seemed assumed that each child going to Prep would have been to child care and Pre-Prep, though neither is compulsory. (Prep is compulsory in some states I believe, but not Queensland. We could wait until grade one to enroll Cohen, but I do think he is ready for school now.) She returned to the question on the form later to inquire, 'Not even a family day care?' in a tone of disbelief. Is it so uncommon these days to raise a child at home?

I felt as though she thought we had disadvantaged Cohen in some way, which left me feeling disappointed. I suppressed my urge to justify my decisions. I know his days are full of friends, books, craft, activities, playgroup, library trips, soccer - as any four year old's are. However, he will most likely be included in a program at the end of the year where he will attend the morning session of Prep once a week for three weeks. This way he can get used to the requirements of school and they can 'asses' him. The program is generally offered to fifteen children each year, so surely Cohen isn't such an odd one out?

It's funny how something can seem completely normal to you in one environment, and so foreign in another.

41/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth... ehum.

Emerson: Little bruiser.

I never thought patience was something that could be taught, and yet I find I am learning it from my children. And  not because they're patient, but because they teach me how to be patient. Before I had children, I thought of myself as being a patient person. Since having children, I often wonder if I could ever have enough patience! When the children intentionally provoke each other, when Cohen is being defiant and won't eat his dinner, when he plays roughly with Emerson and hurts her, or continually asks me questions when I am on the phone, or one hundred other moments in a day, I feel my patience tested. And while patience is elastic and springs back remarkably quickly once tested, prolonged pressure can cause even the most patient person to snap. That's when I wonder how deep my patience reserves run. However, I have also realised that I have a measure of patience that I didn't have prior to having children, which relates to pace. Specifically to slowing down. It's much easier to have patience if you move at the speed of your children. I moved at a much faster pace pre-children and I am tempted at times to return to my previous gait. But, when I am rushed and trying to speed up my children, I am guaranteed to run out of patience. While it's not always possible to slow down the pace, when it is, I find patience is more abundant. (And I am quite sure more children move slower than usual when they sense urgency in my voice...)

Lately, Emerson has been asserting her will in order to walk everywhere. Little toddler steps to the park, with lots of pauses to examine seed pods, rocks and sticks. Or one little hand in mine, and one in Cohen's, she will walk around the shops. She will even walk very slowly down the three flights of stairs at the library, as I patiently hold her hand. It's such a wonderful way for her to experience the world around her. When Cohen was this age I may well have gotten impatient half way down the stairs and picked him up, as I was so used to moving at a faster speed. Now, Emerson and I both beamed with pride as we reached the last step.

And while it is still frustrating at times, I am endeavoring to slow down as much as possible and let Emerson set the pace - and marvel and the things our children teach us.

40/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: I never appreciated the humble dandelion until I became a Mama. Now they seem such bright and happy flowers, hardly a weed at all. I have a dish full of dried dandelions that Cohen has picked for me. With each flower gift he tells me he loves me. It's like a little dish of love.

Emerson: Precious blessing, who falls asleep each day in my arms. How rich I am. How rich every parent is.

I seem to have lost my blogging mojo of late. I feel like I have lost my voice. Perhaps I just need a little quiet time? Does that ever happen to you? 

I hope to return again soon. xx

39/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: There's nothing quite like licking the beater,

Emerson: Except perhaps getting your hand in the bowl... (which is serious business, even with a face smeared with butter!)

Sometimes it's difficult to get the attention of a four and a half year old, let alone receive a response. I have learnt though that, 'do you want to make biscuits?' and 'do you want to lick the beater?' are two questions that always receive timely, positive, responses. Funny that. 

Tea, biscuits and my little helpers are wonderful comforts as, alas, I wasn't accepted in to the Brisbane Finders Keepers market this November. Perhaps next time. Many congratulations to those who were accepted and my commiserations to those who, like me, find themselves on a waiting list.

38/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: Getting braver and climbing higher at the park - with a poor scratched nose from where he fell over on concrete

Emerson: The phone thief - anything to bring a smile to her face this week

I'm feeling more than a little poorly today. Sore throat, pounding head, hots and colds, achy joints. Which gives me further sympathy for my dear little girl, who has similarly suffered this week, on top of teething. She has been miserable, to say the least. Thankfully she is on the mend.

My high lights, this sleepless week, include a moment of sibling love in the post office and 'baby balloons'. Cohen held my hand and Emerson's as we walked in to the post office. As I rummaged though my bag for my purse while we waited in line, the woman behind me leaned in to tell me how beautiful my children were. Still holding her hand, Cohen had lent over and given Emerson a kiss and told her he loved her. It was one of those sweet, out of the blue moments that make a Mama's heart sing.

A little game we are calling 'baby balloons' has been the only other thing to really bring a smile to Emerson's face this week (besides my phone). Trying to cheer up my sad girl, I pretended to blow on her thumb as if I was blowing up a balloon and then unexpectedly squeezed her and said 'POP!' She laughed with delight and offered me her thumb again. It has become the game of the week. When Grandma and Grandpa came to visit we had to explain the game after Emerson had expectantly offered Grandma her thumb.

37/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen and Emerson: It's the little things

I love this time of year in the garden. The weather is beautiful, there is much to harvest and Winter veggies are giving way to Spring planting. While I weed, pick, dig and plant, my little helpers play around me, push each other in the cart and 'work' with their wheel barrow and shovels. By far their favourite things though are the watering cans. A little water in each keeps them occupied for quite some time. And there is nothing cuter than a toddler pottering around with a watering can.

35/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen: Unable to sit still with excitement while he waits for his soccer trophy

Emerson: A spark of mischief behind those blue eyes

I am a bad soccer Mum. I could not wait until the last day of the season. I was counting down the minutes yesterday until it wrapped up and we need never return. We have struggled though an entire season of soccer with Cohen and it is finally over. Hoo-ray!

I wasn't always a bad soccer Mum. I'm all for children playing team sports. Cohen participated in weekly soccer skills sessions last year and loved it. I ran around the field with him when he first started and was too nervous to leave my side. I jumped over obstacles and cheered him on at the sidelines to encourage him. At his request we enrolled him again this year. However, each Friday evening this past season he has whinged and complained that he didn't want to go the next morning. Once there, he'd muck around for the first half of the session before getting in to it and enjoying it, then saying he couldn't wait until next week. The next week he wouldn't want to go again. Thus began the tedium and frustration that lasted the entire season. We offered gentle encouragement. We let him sit out several weeks. We discussed why he didn't want to go. We didn't pressure him. We didn't want to push him, but were mindful of the financial investment we'd made. Yesterday he didn't want to go as usual, until we mentioned that it was the last session and he would be getting a trophy. He swiftly changed his mind. 

As we walked back to the car afterwards I felt immense relief that we would no longer have to negotiate this particular weekly hurdle. Cohen, on the other hand, pronounced that he had had a wonderful time and "could not wait to come back again next week and get another trophy."

34/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen and Emerson: And their loving Aunty and Uncle.

 

Time, technical difficulties, teething and tummy bugs have been conspiring against blogging this week. And it seems I have hardly picked up my camera. These photos were taken last weekend at an impromptu park meet up with Aunty Noni and Uncle Dylan. I'm hoping our internet issues will be sorted out Monday and that we've seen the last of sickness in this house, at least for a little while.

 

I'm looking forward to more impromptu park dates.

 

 

33/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen and Emerson: My favourite photo taken this week. My two little loves, sitting together, enjoying the early Spring weather with an ice block. I even love those grubby thong marks on Cohen's feet and the band aid marks on his knees - two more signs of warmer weather!

 

My heart has been so full of love this week. Two days ill in bed gives you perspective and appreciation, and serves as a reminder about the important things. Nothing like a tummy bug to make all the other little nuisances disappear! I held my little ones longer and sat with them more often in the aftermath. Soaking up the sun in the garden. Reading extra stories at bedtime. Patiently answering Cohen's pressing questions after lights out each night. I wish I could hold on to this perspective and not only gain it fleetingly.

 

My highlights this week are watching Cohen and Emerson water the veggie patch for me as I potted up some self seeded tomato seedlings. Cohen showed Emerson how to fill up her small watering can as he filled up his. She followed him as they made several trips from tap to plants. Back and forth, back and forth. And just too cute for words. Also, Emerson has started really interacting with her doll and pushing it in it's pram, cuddling and kissing it and telling off (squealing in frustration at) Cohen when he interrupts her games (most notably when he is "fixing" the doll - hitting it on the head with a toy hammer.) After raising a little boy, the differences between he and Emerson continue to surprise and amaze me. And make me laugh.

 

What are your highlights for this past week?

 

-

 

PS. Don't forget to enter the lovely Whimsy + Juno giveaway!

32/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen: My big boy is officially enrolled in school for next year (sniff).

Emerson: Her first piggie tail. My 'baby' girl is no longer a baby, but I can't help still referring to her as such.

 

I'm really enjoying the rhythm of our family. We seem to have moved through a difficult stage, or time. And when Mama's happy, everyone seems a little happier.

31/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen: An upside down four year old

Emerson: Taking a simpler approach to scooting

 

Today three generations of our family came together to celebrate my brother's birthday. It was lovely and it really had been too long.

 

Here's to celebrations and family gatherings!

30/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen: Sitting on a million dollar elephant.

Emerson: A look of nervous triumph, as she reached her goal.

 

I've been especially mindful this week to enjoy the pace of our slow mornings, the simple structure of our days, and the one on one time I am afforded throughout the day with my little ones. It makes such a difference when I remember there is not so much I 'have' to do, rather things I 'want' to do, and take the pressure off accordingly.

 

Two of my favourites from last week - my milky way and this jen day.

29/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen: Exploring

Emerson: Pausing

 

Thank goodness for sticker charts, for they are sanity savers! It is amazing the way my eldest child will curb his behaviour for want of a sticker. Twenty stickers gets you a Lego mini figure, don't you know. I felt like we'd hit a wall with his behaviour and my patience. I was getting frustrated, dumping my frustration on my husband when he got home from work, then feeling better and wondering why he seemed frustrated. Sticker chart to the rescue!

 

Motherhood has taught me how important it is that I acknowledge Cohen in a positive moment - helping his sister, putting on his socks without whinging, playing quietly while Emerson sleeps -  rather than falling in to the bad habit of only reacting when he does something he shouldn't. The sticker chart is a reminder for both of us to be mindful of our behaviour I think. I know there are many arguments surrounding external and internal motivation, so the chart will disappear from the fridge again sooner or later, just as it did when he was toilet training. But in the meantime it's working. And for that I think I deserve a sticker.

 

-

 

Two of my favourites from last week - a sweet little hair puller and an adorable cuddle.

28/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen: He found his first four leaf clover.

Emerson: Inspecting pretty weeds.

 

Cohen and I both found a four leaf clover this week. I could hardly believe it. Having never found one, the thought of finding two in one day would have seemed completely unlikely. And yet, so it was.

 

A rainy morning had given way to a sunny afternoon. Cohen scooted up and down the concrete footpath. I followed Emerson as she tottered after him, or explored the yard. I stopped to pick a large clover. Intrigued, Cohen questioned me, as four year olds do. I was reminded of childhood days spent looking for four leaf clovers. He abandoned his scooter to join the search, though his enthusiasm was short lived. Emerson and I followed his scooter up the street again. At the next house, just by the letter box, something caught my eye. Standing a little prouder than the rest - my first four leaf clover.

 

What a wonderful feeling it is to find such a rare little weed. My childhood self would have been exceptionally happy, and my thirty one year old self wasn't too far behind. Cohen's eyes grew wide and he declared that he wanted my four leaf clover. Protectively, I suggested he might like to find his own. I was already imaging pressing it between the pages of book. Then, sitting on our drive way, intent upon the task, he did.

 

Now two four leaf clovers are drying inside the pages of books in our home.

 

-

 

Two of my favourite portraits from last week - a sweet little face inside a dot, chevrons, spots, stripes and beautiful eyes.

27/52

 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

 

Cohen: Photo bombing his sister. This image says so much to me about my growing boy, his humour and his confidence, not to mention his love of pulling faces for the camera.

And it makes me laugh.

Emerson: Never trust a quiet toddler.

 

Two of my favourites from last week - tippy toes and gum boots.

three / 52

 

Joining in with Jodi to share a few of my favourite photos from the portrait series so far this year. What a lovely way to spend some time, looking back over these images, trying to pick out my favourites. My eye goes first to the differences I notice in my children, as they grow and change this past six months, then to the memories tied up  with each picture. How quickly we forget things. How quickly things change. How fleeting are the moments we capture with our lens.

 

I'm reminded once more just how important this visual journal is to me. It's all here. My guilt about the state of our actual photo albums is lessened - though I know I really should get them back up to date. So many treasures in the photos I've taken of my two babes.

-

PS. My friends laptop just crashed and she lost many photos of her children and she is in the process of seeing if they can retrieve any of them. I remember the heart ache when Cohen spilt a drink on our old laptop and we lost photos from a short period of time. I've just backed up all my photos and I urge you to do the same. Don't do it later, do it now! And don't forget to back up your blog too.