Finding Balance - In The Workshop

1. What's in front of me at the bench

2. What's behind me in the workshop

There's been a lovely balance between life and work lately, a great rhythm to our days and weeks, that allows me to work and parent without guilt. As a stay at home Mum with a small business my time and energy is often pulled between my little ones, the household and my business. I'm so often asked how I fit it all in. Finding a flow that works for us is the key to juggling it all, and finding time to do the extra things, like a yoga class one night a week, a solo movie trip, a monthly book club meet up. While I can't fit in long stretches of time at the bench, by aiming to do 1-2 hours of bench work 2-3 days and 2-3 nights a week, it adds up and I am able to accomplish what I want to accomplish. Some weeks I do more, some weeks I do less. Having the freedom to be flexible, as well as staying organised, mean I am better able to go with the flow and face any challenges.

Being happy in myself is at the root of all of it though. It falls apart when I do. When I'm sick, when I'm overwhelmed, when I'm feeling negative. But I find I am able to return to a place of calm and happiness, thanks in part to age, and in part to the marvel of anti-depressants and the reduced anxiety I suffer as a result. With a clearer head I am able to experience more joy and feel gratitude for all my blessings (in a non-religious way). And with age and a little wisdom, I find I have let go of many of the things that concerned me in my twenties. My focus has shifted, I know myself better and I am more comfortable in my own skin.

So, here is a snap shot of our days lately.

6.30 - 8.15 Nice slow mornings with breakfast, morning pages, getting dressed and ready for the day, tidying up the house and washing a load of clothes - then the last minute rush to get all three children out the door!

8.15 - 10.30 After walking Cohen (6) to school and hanging out the clothes, we do something just for Emerson (3) and Oscar (1). Perhaps a trip to the park, the library, the duck pond, a play date, or sitting around in the nursery building up blocks and letting the baby knock them down in fits of giggles, like we did this morning.

10.30 - 12.30 Oscar has a nap and I get to work on the things that are more difficult to do with a baby crawling around, while Emerson joins me or fulfills her love of Doctors and Pirates with 'Doc McStuffins' and 'Jake and the Neverland Pirates'. Quite often she brings her dolls to my workshop for tea parties, pram walks, or drawing time, while I try to fit in 1 - 2 hours of bench work each day, three times a week, (plus 1 - 2 hours a night, two to three times a week.)

12.30 - 2.00 We make lunch together and play some more, paint, read, jump on the trampoline, garden, I squeeze in some blogging, emails or web work and another quick tidy up.

2.00 - 6.30 The walk home from school is followed by homework, play time and baths. Then it's time to prepare and eat dinner.

6.30 - 9.30 Bedtime stories are a must, and once everyone is tucked in it's time to tidy up again, spend some time with my husband, make Cohen's lunch and our breakfasts for the next day, and then head down to the bench to do another couple of hours of work. I make sure I'm in bed by 9.30 as I know that Oscar will wake to feed three times during the night (more if he is teething or ill).

Here's to balance and rhythm. May it last! xx

Lately

Loving: Striped roses. They are a welcome distraction from the dirty floor boards and the piles of dishes that go hand in hand with Doctors orders to rest, as this pregnancy has been classified 'high risk.'

Napping: Every single day! Thank goodness for children who nap at the same time... and when they don't, thank goodness for the movie 'Cars,' which keeps Cohen occupied while Mama and Emmy nap. (Sometimes one must do these things!)

Feeling: Optimistic about everything, despite the hurdles at the moment.

Growing: Crazy numbers of sweet capsicums. I never knew one plant could be so prolific. It is thriving on neglect. Any recipe suggestions? The tomatoes, sweet potatoes and herbs are also thriving, thanks to the many storms we have had of late. But I'm keeping my expectations low for the onions, which look rather unhappy with their plot in life. I've never had any luck with growing onions.

Inspired: To start some Christmas crafts. I have been ordering a few craft supplies online for some quiet crafty afternoons with my little ones. I am trying to wait until the first of December to get started...

Watching: The birds nesting in our front tree. There are now five nests. Soon, I hope to be Aunty to a tree full of baby birds.

Working: On custom orders. I love creating something meaningful, like a gift for a midwife, or a keepsake from a holiday. I'm going gently at the bench though. Usually I prepare all my metal myself, melting it down and rolling it our and drawing down the wire. These are quite physical processes though. So, instead I have ordered pre-prepared plate, bezel wire and round wire, to make things easier.

Reading: 'Country Style' magazine and 'The Yarn Whisperer'. My mind has just not been able to focus properly on books lately.

Looking forward to: Doing my next market - The French Christmas Market in West End on the 21st of December. If you are around, do come and say hello! I will have some French themed pieces especially for the event - I'm thinking mustache earrings and red, white and blue beads.

Excited: (Very, very excited!) About the Handmade Christmas Giveaway planned for Monday, which includes such lovely makers as Each to Own, Zillpa and Bravo Juliet Designs...

37/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013." Che and Fidel.

Cohen and Emerson: It's the little things

I love this time of year in the garden. The weather is beautiful, there is much to harvest and Winter veggies are giving way to Spring planting. While I weed, pick, dig and plant, my little helpers play around me, push each other in the cart and 'work' with their wheel barrow and shovels. By far their favourite things though are the watering cans. A little water in each keeps them occupied for quite some time. And there is nothing cuter than a toddler pottering around with a watering can.

Stitch. Read. Covet. Blog.

    

Stitch: I seriously love these knitted poufs. I think Cohen and Emerson would too. Practical and fun. There is a tutorial on the Pickles blog, which also features lots of other stitchy goodness. (Like this knitted zig-zag-spread, or this Cabled cradle spread.)

Read: I am a sucker for list of books. Be it The 100 greatest novels of all time (I've only read twenty one of them), or 10 Aussie books to read before you die (I've read five), I love to see what has made the cut, which I've read and which I might like to read. So I was interested when I stumbled across the top 20 Vintage Classics of 2012. I have read seven of them. How about you?

Covet: I've heard that the rule for buying a great gift is to make sure you are buying what they want and not what you want. This is not the case with my twin sister. Instead, I buy her what I want and know she will love it. Our tastes are just so similar. Unfortunately, that means I have been coveting the Geometric Deer brooch I brought her for her (our) birthday. I'd happily settle for the Harlequin Bear though...

Blog: I have recently been reading and enjoying the lovely blog, Mother Down Under. It's written by Caitlin, an American Mother in Australia, who lives in a mindful and sustainable manner. I also follow her facebook page, and a recent post got me thinking about the chemicals in cosmetics. Despite trying to rid my home of as many chemicals as possible, I realised I hadn't given any real thought to the composition of my make up. The New York Times article that Caitlin referred to certainly made me think. I thought the days of lead in make up were long gone, but apparently not. Needless to say as the items in my bathroom cabinet get used up I will be endeavoring to replace them with products containing fewer and safer ingredients. (Sarah Wilson has a list of toxin-free cosmetics here.)

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This post has not been sponsored in any way. The above are genuine items/people/blogs that I am loving.

Care to share your own Stitch. Read. Covet. Blog? Please leave a comment or your link below so we can all check them out.

These Moments

Feeding and rocking Emerson to sleep reminds me of Cohen at the same age, more than any other daily ritual. It seems not so distant a time that it was Cohen in my arms. The weight of his tiny body against mine, his blue eyes fluttering as he swam in that liminal moment. One perfect ear visible. A patch of hair rubbed smooth on the back of his head, resting against my arm. Dried milk on his cheek.

Now, nearing four, he pretends to nap as I rock Emerson. I assume he thinks I can't hear the pat of his socks on the floor boards and the click and knock of Duplo from behind his closed door. His brown eyes surely twinkling with his perceived mischief. Meanwhile, Emerson swims in the same in between state, with the same blue eyes, that she may or may not yet keep. A crow's call forces her eyes open as she struggles against the tide.

Moments like these I try hard to stem the hum and chatter of my brain. Laying aside the mental to do lists, fleeting thoughts and anxieties. Simply trying to enjoy the moment. As if meditating on all that is Emerson. Ensuring that I hold on to this memory. Her eyelashes finally meet. I hold my breath as I lay her down. Backing out of the room for another glimpse.

Weekending

Today I shall be taking a jar of jam to the neighbours and explaining the screaming they no doubt heard last night.

I made my very first mandarin jam yesterday, with a dozen mandarins from our neighbours tree. It was much more time consuming than I had anticipated. I doubled this recipe but only used the rind from three mandarins and two lemons. Peeling the skins, removing the membranes and seeds, then chopping a dozen mandarins is a lengthy process. Especially when baking bread, fixing dinner, supervising baths and nursing a baby along the way. Luckily my husband makes a rather wonderful, if somewhat impatient, stand-in pot stirrer. The results though are seven jars of beautiful jam, containing nothing but mandarins, lemons, rind, water and sugar. One jar saved especially as a thank you to our wonderful neighbours.

Possums are determined little creatures. We have one such little Brushtailed friend fiend who keeps managing to wiggle his way in to our garage despite our best efforts. Last night, after we presumed he had vacated the cavity beneath the bath to partake in his usual night time ramblings, we affixed a plank of wood over his garage entrance route. Determined to keep him outside for good this time. To my dismay, he was late in leaving his bath place abode, and at 10pm could be heard trying his usual exits in the garage to no avail. The possum proofing was working, except that the possum was trapped inside. My jam was cooling and my husband was sleeping and things were going bump downstairs. What to do. I woke my husband, who showed little interest in getting out of our warm bed. I cajoled him into coming down stairs with me and I grabbed the broom just in case.

This in turn lead to my bemused husband watching on as I chased said possum around the ceiling joists downstairs with the broom. He was supposed to be helping me. Apparently he was tired. So, I have a broom, the possum is running over the open garage door, then darting back inside and I am trying to shoo him out again. As you can imagine, my husband was even more amused when our dear possum unexpectedly launched himself at me. Flying through the air, possum paws outstretched, he landing on my jeans and foot. And I, well, I would like to say I remained calm and saw him on his way outside and calmly brushed my hands together in an 'that's the end of that' fashion. But, as you will no doubt have guessed, I screamed. Then did a little screaming-jumping-up-and-down-shaking-my-hands-get-it-off-me-get-it-off-me dance. Which I'm not proud of, but which had the desired effect. The poor possum ran, leaving me with two nice scratches on my foot in the process, but finally scampering out of the open garage door. My husband laughed all the way back to bed as I repeated several times in a shocked, high pitched sort of way, "Did you see that? It jumped on me? It JUMPED ON ME!"

I lay away half the night listening for tell tale bumps and scratches. Now I'm off to reapply some antiseptic and visit the neighbours with jam and explanations. And perhaps nap this afternoon...

How was your weekend?

Lately

Knitting: After some issues in the gauge swatching department, of which we shall never speak of again, I have cast on for the Larch cardigan. 235 stitches. (Note to self - if the swatch has fewer stitches per inch than the pattern gauge, your stitches are larger than the pattern gauge, so try smaller sized needles...)


Finding: Children's books that belonged to my Father as a child


Finishing: The second Age of Brass and Steam Kerchief

Unpacking: The woolen blankets, as the sun sets earlier and the nights get colder

Loving: Babies in Mama made knits and Cohen's drawings of an "apple tree"

Gardening: Taming the weeds, vines and basil that grew up through the watermelon vine, turning over the garden and planting out the strawberry runners

Dreaming: About all our plans for the back yard, but making do with the existing garden beds (and fencing) in the meantime

Noticing: Tiny seedlings

Happy Day Indeed

I spent our ninth wedding anniversary yesterday suffering from a miserable cold, trying to achieve as much as
I could from the couch, in my pyjamas, surrounded by tissues. I nursed the baby, pulled Lego apart upon request from Cohen and I struggled with a little self pity. Gone are the pre-children days where we would travel each anniversary. Be it driving back to Byron Bay where we were married, flying off to Melbourne to explore and shop, or floating over the water to Couran Cove to fall asleep by a pool in the middle of the day.

Instead, Dave and Cohen volunteered their services for grocery shopping duties. And while they shopped, I mustered the energy to cook chicken enchiladas with rice, from scratch. Once home, I greeted them with warm comfort food and Cohen surprised me with a beautiful bunch of apricot roses announcing, "Happy Day! Happy Day!," unable to get his little mouth around 'anniversary.' My sweet boys. My loves.

It may not have been the kind of anniversary you dream about, or the kind we once had, but I really couldn't ask for more. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, from romantic dinners to pyjama clad meals at home, this is the season of our relationship now. All that we have weathered has brought us here. We have grown up and grown together. We have the family we dreamed about. We are together and loved. It was a happy day indeed.

Happy anniversary Dave. I love you.

A day like today

Library 
Groceries 
Dishes
Laundry
Vacuum
Mop
New shoes
Homemade Vegetarian lasagna
Movie and knitting

Wellington Point

Next time we'll walk all the way to King Island. Yesterday, the journey seemed more important than the destination and we stayed on the sand bar, absorbed in the details.

Coming home I felt reinvigorated, refreshed, by the sand between my toes and the breeze on my skin. My legs ached, my back reminded me of the baby I'd been carrying, but I felt a calmness within that's difficult to describe. We spoke of home. What it means to us. How the house makes us feel 'good.' The house feels like 'home.' The potential that has been fulfilled and that which lays waiting. The feeling of welcome I notice each time I walk in the door. 

And I recognised my luck again. A piece of my heart sitting in the driver's seat and strapped into two seats behind. This journey we are sharing.

A few things in Autumn

The charms of Autumn are appearing. The change in the light, the cool change of evening and soon, the change in the leaves. There are a few other things I am looking forward to this Autumn.

Knitting my first cardigan for myself

Reading one classic book to each modern one

Seeing the Drawings from the Musee d'Orsay 

Collecting leaves with Cohen

Making more soup - this was a nice start (made minus the celery)

Trying our hands at toffee apples

Having an Autumn picnic

Snuggling under blankets with my three favourite people

Is Autumn working it's charms on you? What are you looking forward to this season?

Yes

Relaxed into a nest of cushions on the couch, a sleepy baby in my arms, Cohen's voice floated up to me from the garden where he was digging with his father, "Mama, mama! Look!"
"I'm feeding the baby," I automatically replied.
"He's found something," called Dave.

The next minute I could hear small, muddy shoes quickly shuffling up the back stairs. (A sound that always makes me smile.) Cohen stood in the doorway announcing, "Get shoes yes." How could I resist? "Yes," I said. He led us to his little wheelbarrow full of dirt, pointing and whispering delightedly, "Worm. Look. There it is."

I oohed and ahhed, I pointed and asked questions. I explained to Emerson that worms eat the soil. I watched Cohen's face light up. And I remembered to think like a toddler. I remembered how exciting every new discovery is and I want to share in those discoveries. I remembered that saying yes shows him how much I value him, it encourages him to show me his next discovery and it's a way to lead by example for when I ask for something from him too.

I also wouldn't have seen a worm yesterday if not for Cohen.

A poet of the everyday

"In a market in Baltimore, Maryland, an elderly man stood in front of me in the cash-out line. We each had a basket of groceries. When it came time for the man to put his onto the conveyor belt, he acted quickly, efficiently, but with a sublimely conscious intent. He arranged his food on the moving belt, the oranges as a Cezanne still life, the cereal box as a Mondrian square against the black rubber, the yogurt containers as round, white, Miro-like punctuation marks on the damp background. In the space of seconds he made an entrancing composition, a pleasant sense of order to reflect the house of his mind. In a few minutes the items were plopped in bags and he was off. I never saw him again, but because of those oranges on the thick black rubber, I tried to stop myself before I tumbled my groceries, bruising the fruit, denting the cereal box, onto the belt in my usual haphazard externalization of my internal associative jumble.

In a manner of speaking, I had watched a poet of the everyday. One could be a poet of the everyday, and not even have to write that poem down, or worry about whether it was good, or try to publish it. I had witnessed a span of seconds of someone else's art of living, in a supermarket in Baltimore"

'The Paper Garden; Mrs Delany begins her life's work at 72,' Molly Peacock
page 164 - 165

A beautiful paragraph and a wonderful thought, which I have been musing upon today.

Oh to be a "poet of the everyday."

I called my parents. As a result a sort of resolution is forming. Little steps.

Emerson had a specialist appointment regarding her heart murmur. She is three weeks old today and it hasn't gone away, as is does in some cases. She has been referred to a cardiologist at another hospital. 

Despite other signs being positive, I can't help but feel tense about the whole thing.

Everyone at the hospital referred to her as a 'he', despite her pink onesie. I think of the word 'Emerson' as being feminine, while others must think of it as being masculine?

"Internal associative jumble" indeed.