Thursday, December 13, 2012


11 December 2012

My dear Cohen,

Last night I tucked a three year old in to his bed. This morning a four year old clamored in to our bed for a birthday cuddle. Yesterday I could still, just, call you a toddler. Today you are a little boy. You even look more like a little boy now, with your Lego Star Wars pajamas, (a gift from your Aunt and Uncle.) Recently a friend sent me a photo of you taken on your last birthday. Your features seem more defined now, with only traces of that dear little baby face remaining.

I want to tell you a little about yourself as you are now. I know we will both forget, despite our best efforts. There are all these little things that make you you. Parts of your personality, your quirks, your character. You have such a wonderful imagination. You live in a world where imagination and reality overlap. A world with imaginary friends, things and places. It is beautiful and heart breaking; knowing this innocence is so fleeting.You are a confidant, happy, joyful little boy. You have your own mind about most things, which can lead me to despair at times. Some days are just perpetual negotiations. You will do or say anything to try to change a no to a yes, especially at bed time.

Photos of you are harder to come by now, as you are either camera shy, or determined to get the camera yourself. You still don't like chicken and you would be happiest if your diet consisted solely of sausages, potato gems, bread, fruit and ice cream. The introduction of new foods is met with a determined "I can't like that," before you have even tried it. You do love all things Lego and Star Wars. You ask to go to your Aunt and Uncles at times, just to play with their Lego. You have a handful of unique sayings, such as - do you be happy Mama? (when you've been naughty,) can you like this? (about everything) And there are the words of your own making, including 'ya-ya' for a light saber/sword (because of the sound you make when you wave them around) and 'Pahwah' for Grandpa (which has stuck).

You have written your name for the first time, you can count to ten, but you often cheat and jump from 4 to 9. You know all your colours, shapes and seasons. You recognise garden plants and love sunflowers, your favourite colours at the moment are blue and orange. You eat strawberries fresh from the garden each day, you snack on basil leaves while I water the plants.

You are so in love with your little sister and will share all your toys, bar your matchbox cars with her. I'm really not sure why. There have been a few unfortunate incidents, where you have for example run past her and knocked her over, then hidden. But for the most part you are gentle and loving and I find you talking to her, or patting her, or cuddling her, while she stares back in admiration, or giggles at you.

There is so much more. I'm sure you'll hear much of it many times in the future, as I recall fondly these moments of your childhood. What I want you to know more than anything is that I love you and I always will.

Happy fourth birthday!

Love Mama.
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