Monday, December 30, 2013

The Other Half Of Me

I wrote the post below in September, 2012, and it is probably the best way to express my relationship with my identical twin sister Fiona. I'm sharing it again because I'm feeling a bit fragile. Fiona is moving to Canberra to work soon. She'll be gone one to three years. It's a wonderful opportunity for her. She has worked and studied for years in order to attain such a position and I am so incredibly proud of her. But I am incredibly sad too. 

I'm trying to focus on the positives. I'm trying not to be selfish. She's been a part of all the good things in my life and when she leaves I will be 20 weeks pregnant. So I'm writing all this down, having a little cry and knowing there isn't much I can do except make the most of the time we have left before she leaves, invest in some stationary and save up so we can visit each other. 

I may also have to try to be a little more independent... xx
Noni and me

What’s it like to be a twin? It’s a question I have been asked so many times in my life, yet I have never known how to answer. I’d wonder, what’s it like not to be a twin? I’m still not sure how to answer. It’s so many things.

It’s wearing exactly the same clothes without consulting each other. Being asked to pick a number between one and ten three times, and picking the same number. It’s being understood. It’s understanding someone. It’s having a second wardrobe. It’s holding clothes up against your sister in the shops to see if you really like them. It’s almost the same taste in books, films and music. It’s having the opposite taste in men. It’s getting identical tattoos. It’s never letting the sun go down on an argument. It’s little gifts for no reason. It’s post cards and letters whenever we are apart. It’s sharing quotes and reading to each other from our journals. It’s staying up late at night drinking wine and always having something to say. It’s sharing everything.

It’s expecting too much from others. It’s confusing not being understood by others, when there is someone who understands us so well. It’s the third person in our marriages. It’s being socially awkward without her by my side. It’s sharing all life’s important moments. Growing up together. It’s proudly walking down the aisle before her on her wedding day. It’s swapping clothes, books, shoes. It’s generosity. It’s having a ‘feeling’ when something has gone wrong and calling at that moment. It’s talking about everything, but not always even having to say anything. It’s the first person to hold our first born. It's naming my daughter after her. It's the first person I call when I’m happy or upset. It’s being able to argue and know we still love each other. It’s hanging up on each other repeatedly during a phone fight, then calling and arranging to have coffee and laughing at ourselves. It’s support. It’s driving two hours to Toowoomba to spend two hours with her, then driving two hours home again. It’s real sympathy when you’re sick. It’s a look across a room that you completely understand. It’s the person you can call at any hour about anything. Or three times a day.

It’s all of the above. Fiona is my sister and my best friend. And that is just the beginning.
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