Reminders on living your bliss

Dinner followed by a walk along the jetty with my family

I remember writing a post some time ago about the difficulties of finding balance with three children. A needy baby, a tantruming toddler, and an unwilling six year old. The days felt stressful and each night I was exhausted. Not an unusual situation for a Mother. I was waking several times a night to feed the baby, and comfort the toddler from nightmares. I was constantly repeating myself to my school boy and frustrated by his inability to do anything I asked. I was putting pressure on myself to work more and more and feeling frustrated. I imagined myself as a three armed figure - a child holding each hand and pulling in a different direction. I was in a rut, and it felt easier to keep fighting away in that rut.

When I feel bogged down it can be hard to step back and look critically at the situation and know where to make changes. I'm blessed to have a twin sister who will listen to my whinging difficulties and remind me of simple solutions. She has a habit of being right... :)

Sleep more - I've been going to bed earlier and booking in a Sunday nap with my husband, so I'm not tired and cranky! When Mama is happy, everyone really is a lot happier.
Eat well - slowing down, taking the time to cook and meal plan and think about what I'm eating. Not just for everyone else in the family, but for me too.
Have time together as a family - getting out of the house, away from routines and chores, is the very best way for me to fully enjoy my family. Watching them play in the sand, walk along a jetty, choose books at the library, or play on a playground together fills my heart with the joy of them. While rushing to get ready for school has the opposite effect.
Have time alone - taking time out for myself was something mothers often talk about, but not something I had ever put in to practice in an intentional way. Lately I have been booking my husband in so I can take a day trip by myself for a spot of market browsing and lunch, or a night out at the movies alone. It helps me feel like Christina, and not just Mama. It gives me something to think and talk about, besides my beautiful children. And it makes me appreciate them all the more, especially when they run to meet me and ask about my adventures.

These little reminders make all the difference to me living my bliss.
Perhaps you needing reminding today too?
xx

Thistledown Country Cottage

In the days after Christmas it feels like the real holiday begins. The pace leading up to Christmas slackens and is followed by quiet days with simple plans. Dave joins us at home and the children all climb into bed for cuddles in the mornings. Our two year old notes with new surprise each morning that Dada isn't leaving for work. Later nights. Afternoon naps. Day trips and adventures to celebrate with family and friends. Bliss.

Yesterday we traveled to Mount Barney, in Queensland's Scenic Rim, to visit Dave's Mother for her birthday. She is staying at the lovely Thistledown Country Retreat. We enjoyed lunch with her (prawns and watermelon make such a wonderful combination), we wandered the grounds, fed the sheep, explored the kitchen garden and rose garden. We took in the beautiful old home, with it's chandeliered dining room and charming country kitchen. The rain came in gently and the first mist turned into a drizzle. The mountains were hung with clouds, obscuring their peaks. The birds sat dripping among the tree branches and wallabys' bounded picturesquely across lush green hills.

As we drove home and the children napped in the car, I felt the joy and happiness of the season in great measure. Wishing you days of beauty and connection with your loved ones as the year nears it's end.

Third Time Around

I was surprised by the subtle negativity I received during my third pregnancy. 'You'll have your hands full,' was the standard response, followed by jokes about my sanity, and concerns about the size of our car and house. I can only imagine what larger families must receive. As a society we have an idea about what is a 'normal' sized family, and I know I am guilty too when I read about a really large family, my mind struggles a little. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion on whether three is a good number, it usually depended on how many children they did or didn't have themselves. The consensus seemed to be that while two was manageable, three was a handful, and it was their duty to inform me as such. Whether they had three children or not. When family and friends took this line I reminded them that my first born alone had been a handful. But the underlying message seemed to be that I would not be able to handle three children, and I had been warned.

While the enthusiasm of family and friends surrounding my first pregnancy was not matched in my subsequent pregnancies, I was still surprised by the well meaning negativity from some of my family and friends the third time around. I don't know that people were aware that they were even doing it. 'Don't ask me to baby sit.' 'Did you trick your husband in to this?' 'I can't imagine having three children.' 'You're brave.' 'You're not having any more are you?' they asked light heatedly. But still. I held on to any positive comments I received and tried to ignore those that weren't. But the message was seeping in. I was crazy. I couldn't handle three children. I wasn't enough.

I've been thinking about this since I took all three children to the shops yesterday, by myself. I had been avoiding it. I'd been making trips and running errands while Cohen was at school. I'd call my husband to pick things up on his way home after ten hours of work. I even had my lovely neighbour babysit my big two when I had to go to the post office after school one day, so as to avoid having three children in public, on my own. I realised that I had lost faith in myself as a parent. I was scared that perhaps everyone was right. Perhaps I wasn't enough, I couldn't handle three kids alone. So I avoided it. But what you avoid gets harder and harder. I love my children. They're good kids. Why was I letting the things that others said determine what I was doing with my days?

So we went to the shops. And do you know what? It was fine. It was fun! I wore Oscar in the sling and Emerson and Cohen walked beside me. Sure, the first thing they both did was run to the car ride and climb in. I let them sit and play in it and promised they would get a proper ride on the way out if they were well behaved while I ran my errands. As you can see, they got their ride. When my newly 'independent' two year old looked like having a tantrum we stopped, I got down to her level and talked with her. Crisis averted, we moved on. When she started to fuss I popped her in a trolley. When they both looked bored in the grocery store I asked them to help me find things and let them choose between items. I let them put the groceries on the counter, which they love.

I know there will be times when I have my hands full. I know I'll feel frustrated and overwhelmed. I know I'll call my husband or sister and burst in to tears. But I am reminded that I have been a parent for over five years now. I have learnt parenting skills, I've learnt how to multi-task, how to respond, how to problem solve. Yes, if you just gave someone three kids for the first time they wouldn't manage. But these are my children, I know them better than anyone. And while there will be ups and downs, we will manage just fine. And I will be more mindful of how I respond to pregnant women and new Mama's.

Three children, two bedrooms... advice please

1. 32 weeks pregnant 2. Feed me? 3 & 4. Custom make 5. My little love

With a three bedroom house and soon-to-be a family of five, I've been thinking about the logistics of the 'who sleeps where' situation. So far I have decided that Cohen (5) and Emerson (2) will stay where they are, while the new baby sleeps in a bassinet in our room. However, when baby begins to outgrow those lovely cane surrounds, she or he will then move in to Emerson's room, which is the smallest of the two bedrooms, and take over her cot. Emerson will move in with Cohen and they will share the larger room. 

I had thought of pairing up the sexes - if the baby was a boy then I'd eventually put him in Cohen's room with Cohen, or were it a girl, she and Emerson would take over the larger room. Then my Mum pointed out that a five year old and a baby would not a good combination make, especially with night feeds and the like. Instead my two good sleepers would be better off in a room together. So now I am thinking bunk beds, with a toddler rail on the bottom for Emerson. At two years of age, she currently sleeps in a cot, and by the time I anticipate she will be making the move, she will be a little over two and a half. Cohen was still in a cot at this age, so it could be interesting. 

Cohen is excited about the prospect of sleeping on the top of a bunk. Though I'm not sure the actual 'sharing' of the room part has sunk in yet. They fight like cats and dogs at times already, I can only imagine how we will go with them sharing a room! When I was quite young I shared a room with my twin sister. I remember loving it. I wonder how my parents remember it? When we were a little older my parents built an extension on the house and we secured our own rooms, though given Fiona's room was air conditioned and mine wasn't, you were still likely to find me camped out in there in Summer.

If only an extension were in the budget...

Did you share a room with your brother or sister as a child?

Do your children share?

I would love to hear your thoughts or advice, and put this Mama's mind at ease.

Weekending

With Dave often working six days a week, and myself spending many nights and weekends at the bench, 'family Sundays' are the perfect way for us to end one week and begin another. I'm not the least bit religious, but the idea of a day of rest resonates with me. A day to connect, be creative, read, sleep in, explore. And so have our Sundays become.

Yesterday we explored Giants Causeway at Fingal Head. The beautiful hexagonal rocky formations are the result of volcanic activity. The island visible from the headland, Cook Island, was noted by Lieutenant James Cook during his east coast explorations in 1770 and thus named after him. While the sweet little lighthouse was established in 1872. Cohen was most disappointed that we couldn't go inside.

The wind whipped the rocky outcrops to such a degree that clamoring across the hexagonal rocks was off limits, especially to my pregnant self. Rock hopping is one of my very favourite things. I contented myself with the view from up high, though we will most definitely have to go back again.

How was your weekend? 

What adventures did it have in store?

The first day of Spring

A hole in one on the first hole

Yesterday as the sun shone and Spring became the official season, we celebrated Father's Day with mini golf and a family lunch. Mini golf with two little ones and my golf loving husband was such fun and so amusing. Emerson tottered about the course, ball in hand, dragging my putter behind her. Cohen took great delight in the challenges of the game and was quite pleased to have the highest score at the end. While my gorgeous husband only beat me by two shots - with a minimum of cheating on my behalf, that I choose to call a handicap. (He had to sink the ball in the black holes, which were the most difficult, while I could choose which ever of the three holes I could get the ball closest to.) 

It was such a beautiful day. My heart was so full of love and pride. Dave couldn't have been happier with our choice of celebrations (unless of course he had been able to squeeze in a surf first).

I hope my fellow Aussies had a wonderful Father's Day and first day of Spring!

-

It seems not so very long ago that we celebrated our first Father's Day.